Problems
by Chuwei
Summary: Kanda, Rabi  Lavi , Allen and Rinali  Lenalee  all have their own problems. Each of them learn how to deal with the issues in their own unique ways...and maybe with a little help from each other.


PROBLEMS : part one :: FANGIRLS

Kanda had a problem. It plagued him wherever he went, it disrupted his missions, caused him massive amounts of irritation, and more devastatingly, ignoring it did NOT make it go away. At the snort coming from the redhead next to him, he realized that Rabi was also aware of his "problem", and that only served to fuel his anger even more.

The long-legged Rinali wasn't the only one who attracted attention when they were on missions - Kanda also seemed to garner a loyal following of puppy-eyed females wherever he went. At times, Rabi almost had to laugh at the look of utter exasperation and annoyance on his teammate's face as yet _another_ grubby village girl professed her undying love to the beautiful swordsman.

For Kanda was indeed,_beautiful_. The God they were fighting for must assuredly possess a fine sense of humor if He had decided to pair such a breathtaking physical form with one of the downright nastiest personalities imaginable. Temperamental, rash, insensitive, dangerous, violent, pig-headed and stubborn to a fault...qualities that clashed so harshly with the serene upwards slant of piercing gray, almond-shaped eyes, the strong yet graceful jawline, the chiseled and well-toned physique that was evident even under the heavy exorcist uniform coats, the elegant knit of brows that seemed forever locked in a frown...and the hair. Oh yes the hair. No matter what, Kanda's hair always seemed to be perfectly immaculate, even when it managed to escape the confines of his ponytail during a particularly intense battle. Even with the invasion of dirt and grime and several days of rushing too quickly to stop to bathe, the blue-black tresses still seemed as soft and silken as always. Something that, the junior bookman noted with amusement, Kanda's fangirls didn't miss either.

**"--Excuse me, excorcist-sama!"**

Kanda didn't bother to hide the annoyance from his face, or the fact that a vein near his forehead was popping rather dangerously. He didn't bother to say anything, only glanced up irritably from his precious soba to glare at the girl, hoping for HER sake that whatever was about to pop out of her stupid mouth next better be some DAMN useful information or Mugen was going to get some target practice fairly soon.

The female who had called out blushed furiously as she detached herself from the gaggle of giggling girls behind her, taking the tall swordsman's pause in eating as a sign of encouragement. **"We were just wondering, sir, well..."** Freckled cheeks flushed redder as the girl covered a giggle with a plump hand before continuing. "That your hair looks, so, well, NICE. So we were wondering?" --Another burst of giggles from the fanclub behind her.-- "...If you could tell us, maybe? About, well... what kind of conditioner do you use?"

The look on Kanda's face could only be described as pure loathing and disgust as the poor village girl finished her sentence by batting her lashes at the stoic swordsman. Kanda, on the other hand, had had enough. He had deigned to suffer their incredibly idiotic manner of trailing after him and giggling and pointing whenever he was in the village because thus far they had kept their distance, but he was NOT going to tolerate such ridiculous behavior any longer. This, THIS was utterly unacceptable.

Rabi buried his face deeper in the book he was poring over, trying to smother his snickering as the inevitable occurred.

**"Akuma blood."** Kanda spat out, each terse syllable grated out rather forcefully. If the dimwitted females possessed any sense at all, they would noticed the lack of mercy in his tone and back off. Unfortunately for them, the gaggle of girls merely blinked in response, confused.

** "What?"** the freckled one asked.

Bad move on their part.

"You want to know what I do to my hair?" Kanda seethed dangerously. Anger seem to curl in palpable fumes around the infuriated exorcist. "I. Drench. It. IN. A-KU-MA. BLOOD. I became an exorcist just so I could kill the bastards and cut them into bits and pieces so that the filthy poisoned blackened blood can get all over my hair so it can be fucking NICE and SHINY. Because it fucking MATTERS so much about what I DO to my fucking HAIR, RIGHT?" At this last word, his fist slammed into the table so hard the surface cracked.

It was a good thing Rinali wasn't here on this mission, thought Rabi. The kind-hearted girl would never let Kanda get away with the psychological damage he was inflicting on these poor females right now.

The shocked and defenseless girls scattered into oblivion before Kanda's infamous temper (and highly distorted sense of humor). When they had all disappeared, the ponytailed exorcist simply sat back down and resumed eating his soba noodles with a sullen sense of satisfaction.

The next day, Rabi noted with great amusement, none of the female villagers were willing to come within a 500 foot radius of Kanda.

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_A/N Alright, alright, it's been LOOOOOONG time since I've actually written fanfiction again so...cringe please be kind with critique. __This is part 1 in a series consisting of 4 parts, I was going to write all four tonight but I got distracted, and now I'm tired. So, moar to come later! That is, if you weren't completely disgusted by this attempt already. 8D;;_

_ Next chapter: Rinali has a problem too. _


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